Sex in the City? Well, not exactly Resolutions Made and Broken – Playing Games? or Just not into you?

Sex in the City? Well, not exactly

Resolutions Made and Broken – Playing Games or just not that into you?

As the New Year begins, there has always been a long-standing tradition.  The tradition of making resolutions.  As the year ends and the New Year begins, we all make resolutions and most of the time we break “said” resolutions.  I am one of the many that has broken at least one this year. I know I promised that come the New Year, I would start writing again on a weekly basis, and I know I have not. Things are still crazy. Life is crazy, what can I say?

I did however keep my resolution to start looking through profiles myself and not just respond to the guys that have e-mailed me.  I have spent several hours shifting through tons of profiles.  I have to say though, not one of them sparked my interest. My 3 dates a month plan doesn’t seem to be working. Interesting, cultured men don’t seem to be out there.  Maybe I am just too picking, looking for something/someone who just does not exist anymore.  One of readers of the blog suggested that joining a pay site might be more fruitful. Not sure I am ready to try that just yet though.  Might be something I consider down the line especially if I get at least a month for free.  I need to be sure there are at least a good group of men there before I dish out any hard-earned money.

Been wondering though, is dating several guys at the same time; dating like a MAN? I’ve never liked it and to be completely truthful, the past few months have been the first-time I’ve try it.

A couple of my friends have decided to join the site as well.  They’ve gone out on dates, but have also been unsuccessful in finding suitable men.  It could be an NYC thing who knows. Or maybe NYC girls just want more. Are we spoiled? Are we just not opening ourselves up to the possibility? Is it our fault? I’ve tried to be open, willing to at least try.

So, let me go back to where I left off in December/New Years Day.  MR Banker seems to be in a funk since he returned from visiting his kids over the holidays. He’s become a form of shut in, going to work and going home (or so he says). The Year started with him still sending texts after texts after texts.  (I really wish people would just pick up the bloody phone once in a little, really, don’t be lazy!!)

The past 10 days however have been very different, Every Sunday morning, (around 9am he sends a text to see how I am. Still don’t understand why people don’t know that people actually like to sleep in on a Sunday and being woken up with a text IS really aggravating.)  Is he playing games? I don’t do games. Too old for that.

I haven’t seen him since right before Thanksgiving…and even though I find him interesting, I feel like maybe this has run its course.  I sent him a text last week saying;

Me – Hi ____ hope your week started out well.  Looks like the moment may have passed seeing that it’s almost 2 months since we have hung and the past 2 weeks there has not been much dialog and a week between texts.  If you ever want to meet for drinks as friends down the line, give me a buzz or drop me a line. Have a good week.

I thought my text was nice enough; it made sense, as I said I really don’t like to see many people at the same time and I thought it was time to move on.

He replied a couple of hours later;

Him – For me the moment hasn’t passed. I’ve just really had a few difficult weeks both work-wise and emotionally after coming back from seeing my kids.  I want to see you more. If that’s okay?

How does one respond to something like this? He is unavailable because he misses his kids.  In this case, is it even smart to start something? Let it move forward? I mean there could be a possibility that he decides to move back to where his kids live. Anyway, that’s what the voice in my head is telling me.  NO, I am not actually hearing voices…it’s just my gut instinct. Call it woman’s intuition.

I did respond;

Me – Sorry you’ve had a hard time. I totally understand being busy and it sucks that it’s compounded emotionally as well. I would like to see you as well, but feel that after so long it would be like starting at square one.  This whole online dating thing is just new to me and texting and not talking on the phone is just as odd.

 Him – I want to see you and get to know you more.  I don’t mean to be distant at all.  I guess I’m still trying to adjust to my move back here and being far away from my kids.  It’s been a bit tougher than I imagined it would be,

So at this point everything is telling me, “Move on CECE. Move on”.  I really don’t think he is going to stay here.  I feel bad though, if he is having a hard time, how can I just be a B—h and walk away. Big question, do I owe him anything?

I’ll see what happens by the end of Jan, if he still hasn’t adjusted, I will indeed move forward, move on, etc.

Next Up – SantaCon Man, he’s been sending me random, intermittent texts…very odd.  I still haven’t met up with him.  Don’t really think there’s a point. Just by his texts I can tell we are very different. Maybe good as friends? Maybe?

So to sum it all up, MR BANKER has until the end of January to get out of his funk and shape up…or ship out.  I will not be waiting around.

SANTACON MAN – I really only see him as a possible friend…nothing more.

Unfortunately for me 2012 has not started out with bang…with January half way over, I hope that changes. This is my year. For Work, Love and everything else under the moon.

Come on 2012 ROCK MY WORLD!!!!

See you next time.

Sex in the City? Well, not exactly November – Movember – Goodbye 2011

Sex in the City? Well, not exactly

November – Movember – Goodbye 2011

So now November or should I say Movember is here. I was very weary about meeting up with people this month.  Looked through my e-mails with trepidation. So far the men were not exactly what I was looking for. Not even close. Now I arrived at Movember, the streets of New York were filled with guys sporting mustaches …now, I am all for good causes, but I think very few men look good with mustaches.  I personally don’t really like facial hair, and first impressions are after all first impressions, right?

I was totally afraid of meeting up with some guy looking like an old 80’s stripper, Stalin, Hitler or Dali. Not my cup of tea. I took baby steps, crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.

I responded to an e-mail from a guy who seemed quite interesting. He had lived in Japan for a few years and spoke Japanese, as well as other languages, which really impressed me. I like everything Japanese, the language, the food, the art and the fashions. Tres cool!! Could he be a match?

Stats: Age 38 (2 years younger…but I don’t look my age so it’s all good), Banker (Good), Divorced (But was not on his profile…he only told me on our first date.- Don’t love it but lets see what happens), Kids (Yes. Why aren’t people honest and put this on their profiles?) All this stuff is quite important!!! Wouldn’t you think?

So seeing that we both liked Japanese food we decided to meet up for Sushi in the East Village. As always, being who I am, I was there a few minutes early. He was about 10 minutes late. Not the best way to impress me but I let it slide.

When he arrived he didn’t look like his picture, but that didn’t bother me. I am not looking for MR GQ. I am looking for someone normal with whom I connect.  We went to our table and this is where he blindsided me with the news that he was A) divorced and B) that he had kids.  YES KIDS, not 1, not 2, BUT 3!!!!!!  3, now this is really something that one should warn a person about before the first date? What if that is a total deal breaker?

I wanted to be open, so I told myself I would deal with that if I needed to down the line. After all this was one date and we might not even enjoy each others company. So I took a deep breath and continued our date. Dinner was really nice and we had a lot to talk about, once we finished he asked if I would like to go somewhere else and continue hanging/talking. I said “sure!” and that I knew of this underground – Japan style Sake Bar. He was up for that and also excited to see the place. We left and walked a few blocks to nondescript stairwell. I took him down the stairs to a dark, small, new world.  He loved it and said it was indeed something one would see in Japan.

We spent the next 4 hours chatting and drinking cold Sake. It was nice, for a little while I even forgot about the ex-wife and 3 kids. Only for a little while though, it’s really hard to totally forget about something like that. Nevertheless, I am giving it the old college try.

After about 4hrs we decided to leave and give someone else our table. The place is very small and there was quite a wait for tables. So we were nice to allow another couple to enjoy what we had just enjoyed.

A few things that did impress me were that he was intelligent, charming and a gentleman. He walked 20 blocks with me to make sure I got home OK. GOLD STAR for that.

So once he made sure I got to my building, he gave me a hug, a kiss on the cheek and said he would love to see me again.  We said we would chat in the next week and plan something.

The next afternoon, he texted me saying he was in the mood to see a film and was I up for joining. I politely declined. I had a lot to do. My Sunday nights are normally spent cleaning up and getting ready for the week ahead. He understood.

He spent the next week texting me and we planned to meet again Saturday night.  Our second date was nice as well. We went for Italian…chatted for hours and again he walked me home. We said goodbye and made plans to meet up again the following weekend.

As the weekend approached, things started to get quite busy in my world and I had to change dinner.  I asked him if he was up for meeting for Sunday Brunch instead. He said he would love to and suggested a place in midtown. We decided to meet up at 2pm.

2pm is normally late for Brunch, but was perfect for me because that would allow me to go to gym in the morning. So I got up early-ish went to the gym then the sauna.  I showered at the gym and got ready. When I checked my phone, I had a text from him saying he was having some issues with his son (his kids don’t live in the US) and the needed to be a good dad and take care of that.  Now, I am glad that he has the sense of responsibility to take care of his kids even when they are not around, but this is why I prefer a man with no responsibilities and no baggage. But I did understand.  I responded with a text;

“No worries” and that we could reschedule. So with my Sunday plans cancelled, I decided to drop in on a friend who had just had a baby that Friday.

As the week started, he texted me again and apologized for canceling and asked if I wanted to meet Saturday. We ended up going to a wine bar in the West Village, really nice small place…He was late again though…not too late but still late. We had a great bottle of wine and some cheese.  After the Wine Bar we decided to take a walk and find a nice bar where we could chill. We stumbled upon and small Faux Pub and went in . Again, we spent the next several hours chatting. It was really nice. So far our 3 dates have lasted 61/2 hours each, I guess this means we are enjoying each others company.  When he walked me home, I thanked him for a lovely night and said I guess we wouldn’t be seeing each other before we both left town for Thanksgiving. (Thanksgiving was the coming weekend). He said he would actually really like to see me before we head off, so we decided we would try for Tuesday.

Things got very busy for the both of us on Tuesday so we had to cancel our plans. We both left for Thanksgiving on Wednesday not having seen each other.   We’d have to wait and see what was going to happen, how we were going to proceed when we got back.

It was going to be tough with the holidays around the corner and all the holiday parties but yet again, I would give it the OLD COLLEGE TRY.

Thanksgiving came and passed…we had 2 weeks to meet up before he was leaving again to go spend the Christmas Holidays with his kids.  We made plans to meet for dinner that coming Saturday – keep in mind he is the one who asked, not me.  Saturday came and he texted me saying he had no clue what to get for the kids. He was having a tough time because not only did they have to be cool and fun, but also had to fit in his suitcases. (Remember he has 3 to buy for.)  Morning passed into afternoon and afternoon passed into evening. At about 6pm he texted me saying he was still not done with the shopping and it looked like he would have to cancel. “Ok, no problem I replied”. KIDS remember. I am totally starting to feel it’s tough to start a relationship with someone who has responsibilities. We didn’t get a chance to see each other before he left for the holidays. Let’s see what happens with this in 2012…that is if everything hasn’t fizzled out by then.

While all this was happening with MR BANKER, there was also another onliner trying to get to know me. We spoke once on the phone and then he started texting me. He wanted to meet up and get to know me. I didn’t want to meet up with him because I wanted to see where everything was going with MR BANKER, but didn’t think it would hurt to just be in touch with his other Dude.

STATS: Age 41 (Good) Not sure what he does (I think something in business) Divorced (yet again. I think I have to come to terms with the idea that most people my age will be divorced), Kids (Yes, 2! Looks like kids will end up being part of the package as well with guys my age.

Wait I could always go for the BOY TOY!! Yeah right, not my thing.

Ok, I’ll get on with it.

So anyway, I was getting a random text from him pretty much the entire month of November; we were both busy and could not meet up so I guess he thought texting was the next best thing.  I am so tired of texting; it’s really starting to make guys lazy. Pick Up the phone and call for GODS STAKE. Be a man.

On a Friday morning in early December, I wake up to a text from him saying:

Him: “Hey Cece – ever go to Santacon?”

Me: “Nope, never have”

Him: “It’s a flash mob of Santa’s that basically go bar hoping. I am going with friend if you want to meet up for a laugh”

Me: “Yeah, I’ve heard of it, not really my thing.”

So, not only is it not my thing, but I can actually say it’s my hell.  I was uptown for brunch and was walking back down and I was surrounded by thousands Santas which in it’s self is not that bad, but thousands of DRUNK SANTAS PUKING on EVERY street corner is not I would call fun and definitely not my idea of a fun first date or any date for that matter.

Getting home was a pain. Once I got home I told myself I would not be leaving again until tomorrow. It would only get worse as the day progressed.

So, a guy that who never met me, is 41, a divorced dad of 2 wants to go on a bar crawl dressed as SANTA and wants ME TO GO WITH HIM!!!! This guy is so wrong for me. There will be no meeting up with this one.

For those of you who have never heard of SANTACON, I’ve posted a few pictures. It seems to be a worldwide thing now. Keep in mind these pictures are only from one part of the city, they were actually all over the city. ALL OVER!!!

I spared you the puking pics. Did not think you needed that visual.  : )

As the year comes to a close, I say goodbye to 2011. No real match yet. Let’s see what happens with MR BANKER.

Hello to 2012.

I know I’ve said this before…but I really think it’s time I started looking through profiles and making the first move. It’s going to happen in 2012. I feel it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

Sex in the City? Well, not exactly. Going Nowhere Fast.

Sex in the City? Well, not exactly.

Going Nowhere Fast.

Yes, Yes, I know, I’ve been lax the past couple weeks getting any posts up. It’s been quite crazy with the holidays,  Christmas shopping, work and trying to get everything sorted before the end of the year.  Keeping with that, this post is going to have to be a cliff notes version, but I promise that I’ll be back with my proper blogs come January.

Ok, so my last post ended with the ARTIST (the romantic or the frat boy) that ended at the beginning of October.  The next 3 October MEN were really nothing to write home about and therefore really no interesting stories to blog about.  I only actually met up with 2 out of the 3. The 2 that I did met up with, were nice enough,  they’d never been married, no kids…all good things, but boring as hell, and to make things even worse, there was absolutely no chemistry, not even a little.  Unlike other guys I’ve dated in the past I really didn’t feel there was any potential either. I thought it might be best to move on quickly, not waste any time anymore.  Life is too short and I am not getting any younger. So I moved on.

The 3^rd October man – not a calendar man. Well, I actually wouldn’t know. I couldn’t even bring myself to meet up with him.  I  had made the huge mistake  of giving him my number. Talking to him was the most irritating thing ever. I found myself rolling my eyes throughout the entire conversation.  Not a good sign right? I decided right then and there that this would not be going any further.  I told him I would not meet up. I thought that would be the end of that.

Well, I was wrong. He continues to call, I don’t pick up, don’t return calls, he doesn’t get the picture…or he hasn’t yet. He leaves me messages “Cece, Cece, are you in meetings again? Cece Cece you’re naughty.” Really? What is he thinking? Does he really think that’s going to get me interested?  Two months now and the calls still continue. I still send them to voicemail, don’t pick up, and don’t return the calls. Will he ever just give up? Fingers crossed. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP CALLING ME!!!

I actually also had one other uncomfortable moment this month.  So, I got an e-mail from the site saying, “Someone has rated you 4 or 5 starts”.  I open the e-mail to see that this person is someone I work with…or actually works in the same office as me.  How uncomfortable is that? For the next few days, I did everything I could not to run into him at work. Avoiding any corner he might be in.  I was doing well.

I thought I was safe, and the fact that I had not responded would have most likely shown him not to say anything.  Well, I was wrong.  3 days after that e-mail, I walked into the kitchen area, shit!! He’s in there, but he was talking to someone so I thought I was safe.  I was wrong, He stopped his conversation, looked at me and said, “you are a total five no question!” Yuck, Yuck, Yuck!!!!!  CREEPY!!! Really?

Not sure my quest is panning out. I have gone through half of June, July, August, September and now October…and no one suitable has surfaced.  I am starting to think all the online dating commercials are a load of toss. That no one really meets their soul mate on an online dating site. Or are they, but just settling? I don’t want to settle!!! I want to meet someone who ROCKS my world, who makes me smile, laugh, who takes my breath away. Am I on the road to nowhere?

Sex in the City? Well, not exactly Are You A Romantic or a Frat Boy? – When are we going to Make Out?

Sex in the City? Well, not exactly

Are You A Romantic or a Frat Boy? – When are we going to Make Out?

Well, Now I have gone through half of June, July & August. No match yet, no Mr. Right. So, yet again I am moving on. I have gone through The Communist, The Coffee Junkie, The Thrift Store Shopper and The Marring Man whose actual age I am still not sure of.

At this point the old me would have given up, but I do want to continue this quest. Even though it might not happen, I’m finding it quite fun, and actually finding writing about my trials and tribulation even more fun. I do hope you are all enjoying reading about my experiences and following me on this journey.

So now, we arrive at the end of the summer…September is here, will autumn bring more excitement? Will my connections still be with guys who are just not right, who have baggage, who lie and who are just too odd with their idiocncracies? Or will the next one be Mr. Right? I’m not so sure anymore.

After the Marrying Man, I decided I needed to take the next one very slowly. I wasn’t going to meet up with him right away, even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t have time. I had people visiting from out of town and had plans for the next few weeks. He would have to wait.

August 30th First Contact

Stats: An Artist/Works as an Art Teacher in order to pay the bills, Age 42 (Good age), Single (but actually getting divorced which I only found on after chatting with him), Kids (1…not ideal).

We emailed a few times, then starting chatting on the phone. That’s when he dropped the bomb that he was separated and getting divorced – slight problem he had only been separated since April. BIG red flag!!! I should have walked away right then and there, but I didn’t. Yes, I must be stupid.

We spoke on the phone every night…all very long conversations, most lasted about 4 hours at the minimum, as you all must know by now, I can talk, I can keep people interested because, I can really talk about anything, anywhere. I was really enjoying our conversations and so was he. To be honest though, I was still not comfortable re: his recent marital status…I didn’t want to be a rebound. I knew he needed time to heal, to find himself; after all he had been with his soon to be Ex for 13 years. So I told him we should start out as friends and see where that leads. I thought he understood what that meant. I wasn’t looking to date him but rather just hang out. We had a lot in common, we could be good friends. (But guys don’t like to hear “Friends”) There must have been a reason we were thrown together. Right?

After three weeks of chatting, when I finally had time again we decided to meet for a drink. It was a Friday night, September 23rd and it was pouring cats and dogs. No lie, It was raining so hard and was so windy, I was either going to be swept away into the sewers of New York, or be pulled into the sky like Mary Poppins. Hopefully I would not arrive looking like a wet dog.

As always, I arrived a few minutes early, I don’t like to be late, I’m very punctual – that must be the Leo in me. He on the other hand arrived about 10 minutes late…I would let it pass though as the weather was really bad and he was coming in from Brooklyn. I knew I couldn’t hold it against him.

When he arrived, he was indeed quite wet, his umbrella had died and he had ended up walking about 10 blocks in the rain. If it had been me I would have been missrable. I tell you, I hate to be wet….I tell everyone that I’m like the wicked witch of the west. I melt in the rain. I’m melting, melting, melt….. You get the picture right?

Anyway, he arrived…sat down and took a box out of his bag. “I made this for you on Sunday”, he said. I was very surprised that he would bring me a gift the first time he meets me. (Remember, I had said we should start out as friends). I opened the box to find a framed painting. He had painted me ‘A starry Sky’. Very romantic but this is where I realized he had not really understood my lets be friends comment. He was trying to woo me. I think guys hear what they want to hear. They really do have selective hearing. I am sure of that now.

We chatted, had a few drinks (well he had more than a few, he had 7) and some nibbles/bar food. At one point we went outside so he could smoke a cigarette. The rain had started to die down now, so there was not chance of me melting into a puddle on the ground.

The Evening started a bit strange, with the romantic gift and all, but I suddenly felt like I was back in College. After he finished his smoke, he just grabbed me and started kissing me. The last time I kissed a guy I had just met, was back in college. Well, so much for just being friends. I decided to just give up. To see where this all goes.

We left the bar around 1am and he walked me back to my building. He seemed nice enough, but the more I thought about it, I wasn’t sure he was right for me. However, I decide to give him a chance. As long as he acted normal, like an adult and didn’t move too fast I thought we would be ok.

I needed it to be slow and steady…that’s what he should wanted as well, Right?

On this way home he texted me – this whole texting things is starting to get a bit silly. I miss the days when people actually talked.

HIM – thanks for a lovely night

ME – Yes it was fun…

HIM – When am I going to see you again? When are we going to Make Out?

Wow, I must be back in High School. Did he really just ask me that? Seriously?

I told him I was totally booked all week but maybe we could get together next weekend. He was a disappointed.

I spent Saturday hanging with friends. It was nice not to have to deal with the whole guy thing.

Sunday the 25th

My mobile rings at 9am…..First of all unless there is an emergency, no one should call me at 9am on a Sunday!! Sunday is the day I don’t set my alarm clock. I let my body wake up when it’s good and ready, but let’s forget that. The reason he called was the BIG shocker. Now remember, we had just met for the first time 2 days ago. Ok, so are you ready for it? Interested in finding out? Well, he called me to see if I wanted to go to the Zoo with him and his 3 and ½ year old son!!!! Really, Meeting his child after just one date? RED FLAG number 2. I politely turned down the invitation. Slow and Steady, Right?

He was disappointed again but I really couldn’t do anything about that. So not appropriate for me to hang with him and his son after one meeting…if I am wrong about that please speak up.

Sunday passed by, I met a friend for coffee, chilled, and enjoyed the last few hours of the weekend. Next week was going to be nuts and I just wanted to relax.

Thursday 29th

Now, just to remind everyone I had just met The Artist once, on Friday. He had given me a painting on our first date, he had texted me to see when we would make out and he had invited me to spend the day at the Zoo with him and his son. I did not want to judge but all of this was a bit odd.

He sends me a text at 10pm that he is in the city.

HIM – wanna get together in a bit? I’m in the East Village.

ME – sorry, so tired…can’t come out.

HIM – I can come to you.

ME – No, really all I want to do is sleep.

HIM – I can come watch you. Just wanna see you.

Come over and watch me sleep? CREEEPPPPY.

ME – Sorry, I can’t.

HIM – No worries, Sleep well….See you tomorrow.

So, I went to sleep alone with no one watching me sleep. Would anyone have said yes to that? Next morning I woke up to another text from him.

HIM – Sorry if I made u feel awkward last night, sure didn’t mean to, just wanted to see you since i was in the city.

ME – No problem…really just needed to sleep.

HIM – hiya, good morning…I’m gonna blow my friends opening off tonight, I’d. rather see you. Not such a big deal, he has an event every year and I have been to almost all

ME – No go and we can meet after.

Ok, thank god he realized that asking to watch me sleep was strange.

We met up for dinner that night after his friends opening. Dinner was good but the conversation, well…not exactly what I am used to. Below is just a bit of what was said.

HIM – So when are we going to make out?

ME – Really? Why do you keep asking me that? You sound like a frat boy.

HIM – How can you call me a frat boy? I painted you a picture.

ME – Well, that may not have been a frat boy move, but the rest totally has been.

Did he really just say that? Really? It only gets better after that, he started talking about sex. I had made it clear from the start that with me, he would be waiting, would need to be tested, etc. He said he doesn’t use condoms.  RED FLAG NUMBER 3. REALLY!!!!! I told him I would never be with anyone without one. He said, he would get tested and anyway was I NOT on the pill?

I replied No and even if I was that’s not the only thing to think about. This went on and on.

NO, I will not be with anyone without a condom. No way, No how, NOT happening. I went home after dinner without any Make Out session. It was just not going to happen.

Throughout the week He kept on asking me the same question. “So when are we going to Make out? I want to see you.” Enough already!!!

The following weekend we had planned to meet for brunch…I knew this was on its way out. That I wasn’t interested in continuing this but I decided to go ahead and do brunch.

During our many conversations before we met, he had told me he used to play Backgammon professionally, for money. I had told him I grew up playing, so he said we should play. He wanted to play me see what I was made of. I HAVE NEVER PLAYED FOR MONEY NOR WOULD I EVER.

Now, I remembered from last time I played backgammon with a guy, that was not a wise move. I should have learned that guys don’t like to loose. Wait, was this my way out? I agreed and we decided to play. I pulled out my board and took it with me to brunch.

We played and I beat his butt…every game was mine. He hadn’t won one game, but it didn’t stop him from telling what I should have actually done. OK, REALLY? “You are losing and trying to tell me how to play the game? I am the one who’s winning!!!”

What a looser. That was it for me. It was all wrong. He was not for me. My backgammon board is now locked in my closet and will only come out for my female friends.

3 STRIKES AND YOU ARE OUT!!!

There was so much more that went on but I will spare you, if you want more ask and I will tell.

Come on October Send me someone normal, someone cool, someone interesting. Please. Pretty Please!!

Sex in the City? Well, not exactly —- How old are you? Really!!

Sex in the City? Well, not exactly

How old are you? Really!!

Well, as you all know my first 3 attempts at this online dating thing were a big bust. No Connection, No Romeo, No Mr. Right. Not yet anyway. Now that I have come this far though, I am not giving up. It still might happen right? Moving forward, fingers crossed, legs crossed, eyes crossed (Well, no eyes crossed, now that would not be too attractive would it?)

I responded to another e-mail. I still haven’t taken the leap to sift through the online profiles to contact someone myself. I guess I am not actually being that proactive, but I AM BEING a little proactive though, Right?

Anyway this guy seemed nice. He seemed nice and interesting. He liked to travel, spoke languages. All good stuff!! He wanted to meet up rather quickly though, he felt it’s a waste to wait and spend time e-mailing back and forth. He thought we should get on with it.

Normally I would not have agreed to meet up so quickly, I like to feel a little more comfortable before I meet someone, but I’ve been stepping outside my comfort zone so I agreed.

We decided to meet up for a drink. (I guess he wanted to check me out first, make sure my picture was really what I looked like) A nice early drink in the City. I had only spoken to him once briefly on the phone so I had no idea what to expect.

Stats: Works in Media/Television, Age 44 (Well, That’s what I what was on his profile), Divorced (but in his 20s), Kids, (None Yet). All the stats pointed to the positive. All good things, Right? All looked good on paper.

I spent the day trying to figure out what to wear, wanted to be a bit different, maybe even bold!! Normally on any given day, I like to wear black. All black. I avoid colors. I decided to again step it up, step out of my comfort zone. I decided to wear a bright RED dress. YES me, a bright red dress.

We both arrived at the bar about 10 minutes early…problem was, neither of us realized the other one was there. About 20 minutes after we were supposed to meet, he sent me a text saying he was sitting at the bar when I arrived. Texted him back, saying, “I am here, on the couch!” So, we found each other.

We spent the next 3 hours talking about everything from traveling, to politics, to family. He told me he loved his Mom more than anything and that she was his best friend. “Wow” I thought. This is either really good… it means that he respects women…or REALLY REALLY BAD that he is one of those Dreaded MAMA’S BOYS. Which one will it be? I was actually a bit nervous to find out.

After our 3 hour drinks, I guess he took a liking to me…he said he was hungry and wanted to know if I’d like to go have dinner. Looks like I passed his test. There was indeed a connection, so I agreed. We decided on Sushi. I love Sushi.

Dinner was very cool and fun; again we talked about everything there was to talk about. Could this be IT? We actually even finished each other’s sentences quite a few times. He started telling me he was really looking to get married (IS he the MARRYING man, talking about marriage on a first date) and he also told me what he wanted to do for his 50th Birthday. I thought to myself WOW, he is really thinking ahead isn’t he? This is where it started to get a bit strange. Confused I said, “So your 44.” (Remember that’s what he profile had said). He replied by saying “No, I’m 46”. I thought to myself how odd is that…why would a guy lie about his age, and only for 2 years!! Sadly I did not ask why he had put 44 on his profile. I guess I should have.

Still, I was enjoying the date, so I brushed in off. Five hours later, he walked me home and said he would love to see me again…and that the ball was in my court. We said goodbye and he left. I guess he was hooked because 10 minutes later he sent a text saying, “Really enjoyed tonight, you are a breath of fresh air!!” Wow, was it the red dress? Or was it my uncanny ability to talk about anything, anytime, with anyone or was he really just looking to get married NOW? Was this going to be a match?

So, the first date did go well, we did connect and now that the ball was in my court, It was my serve. I had to figure out how and when to throw/hit the BALL back. I needed to be creative; I needed to come up with something different, something out of the ordinary. I am never ordinary. He had told me on the date that he liked to play backgammon. BINGO!!!

That was it!!! That was how I was going to be different. I waited a few days… (Yes, I guess even I can play games, I don’t want to seem too eager…Right?) On Tuesday I sent him a text asking if he’d like to play backgammon in the park on Saturday. He replied that, that was perfect and he’d love to.

Saturday came, and he called and said there had to be a change of plans. He was going to have a BBQ at this place with friends and he wanted me to come to that, I agreed. He liked me, he really liked me; he was going to introduce me to his friends. (I would never do that so soon, but then again, I’m a very private person and most of my friends don’t even know I am doing this.)

Second date went well too. He started texting me sweet nothings all the time, saying he was thinking about me all day, that he missed me…wanted to see me, that he was doing karaoke, and was singing “I have found what I’m looking for” blah blah blah. I was torn was he TOO INTO ME? TOO SOON? Should I be worried?

After the second date, he sent me a text saying;

HIM – “I know you think this is nuts, but I miss you!”

I was going out-of-town for a week, so I told him we could get together when I got back.

ME – “Ok, so you are in my calendar for Saturday”

He replied with a text saying…

HIM – “You realize I can only see you on Saturday if I have not succumbed to my
C-S-A-D”

ME – “I’m sorry to hear that, but not sure what that is though”

HIM – “Cece separation anxiety disorder, C-S-A-D”

ME – “Ha ha”

Ok, it was nuts. Was this going really lead to something? Was it too much too soon? Was he over the top? Crazy?

I continued hanging out with him at his place and with his friends. It felt nice. Was this an online dating SCORE? A success? Were we a match? Or again was he just THE MARRING MAN?

At one of the many BBQs I went to, when I was talking to his friends, it came out that he, actually WAS NOT 44, nor was he 46. None of the ages he had told me were true. He was actually 48. So he lied about his age yet again. WHY? You got me. It’s not like he was 60 or 70.

When I asked him,

“SO Really how old are you?” he wouldn’t say. I don’t understand why a MAN would lie about his age. It was just odd too me.

We finally did have our backgammon date. (Question of the day is should you always let guys win?) Is it bad for their ego if they lose? I didn’t let him win…I like to win. I think that was the beginning of the end. After 2 months, it all fizzled out. No love connection there. Wasn’t in the cards for us, wasn’t going to happen. Too much, too soon on his part, and not enough on my part. Oh well such is life, moving on.

So, I never found out his real age, never found out if he is indeed a MAMA’S BOY, and never found out ……if me winning at Backgammon was really the end?

Did I dodge a bullet or did I miss my chance at true love?

Quick update on him though, he did start dating someone else and after 2 months she moved in with him. (They call it True Love). I call it TRUE Crazy, but that’s just me.
Think I dodged a rather large bullet. Thank God.

Next Up; the ARTIST!!! Wait to hear about this one. My roller-coaster ride continues.

Sex in the City? Well, not exactly Espresso & Clothes – Very NYC Chic Right?

Sex in the City? Well, not exactly Espresso & Clothes – Very NYC Chic Right?.

Sex in the City? Well, not exactly Espresso & Clothes – Very NYC Chic Right?

Espresso & Clothes – Very NYC  Chic Right?

Well, if you read my previous post you know that my first attempt at online dating was a bust, so as I said, I am indeed moving on.  This time I wasn’t going to be chicken, this time the guy was going to live in NYC. I got my feet wet with the communist that lived 5 states away and now I am ready for some face to face action.

So one down for the month two to go, and well they went.  Not quite sure where they went, but they went.

Bachelor #1, his stats, Businessman/Photographer, age 44 (doable), Divorced (not ideal, but doable), Kids, one child starting university… (Kind of a problem), but he does speak a few languages, which I like. So I decided to give him a chance, not be too picky, not limit myself.  I mean after all, he might be the right guy. Grant it there are a few strikes but I thought who knows he might be able to sweep me off my feet with his looks, personality and wit.  Fingers crossed!!!

This time I decided I wasn’t going to spend weeks talking to him on the phone.  We had one phone conversation that went well and so we decided to meet up for coffee on a nice, warm sunny Saturday afternoon.

Now, normally when I say meet for coffee, I mean I want to meet for (A) coffee…I soon learned that for him one coffee is not enough. He should actually walk around with a caffeine drip bag. Also, learned he was a coffee snob – it had to be espresso. Now that was okay with me. I like espresso…but again ONE espresso.

We met up at Madison Square Park. I could see from the distance that he was taking my picture as I was approaching. (Kind of Strange) It actually reminded me a bit of the Ted Bundy movie. We said our hellos and started to walk.

First stop Eataly (for non New Yorkers, it’s a new place part owned by Mario Batali) for an Espresso. Well, ONE for me, TWO for him, he actually started instructing the barista on how one should make a proper espresso. I was mortified. Thank god we weren’t eating there.  I am sure if we had the barista would have put a little bit of himself in our next espresso.

After the espresso jolt at Eatley we started to walk, 10 minutes later…stop. Where? At City Bakery. For what?  Cookies, Cake? Can you guess? No? Well, another espresso. Now, I’ve had 2 he’s had 4.  Are we done? Is the date over? Please!!! Kind of hoping it is. Nope, another short walk, we had now arrived in Soho and he decided he wanted to go to Nespresso…for yep, you guessed it another bloody espresso.  By the time we had finished yet 3 more espressos my heart felt like it was going to jump out of chest, I was having major palpitations. The song fly me to the moon kept on playing in my head.

If you’re thinking it’s because I was smitten by him, and I was having one of those cartoon moments where it’s love at first sight, you couldn’t be more off.  There was absolutely no chemistry whats so ever. I felt nothing!!! It was time to bid farewell, move on, and sign off.

Now, how was I going to stop these espresso palpitations? There was no sleep for me that night. Instead I spent the night running around my apartment, bouncing off the walls. I was the energizer bunny. I was going and going and going and going.  Note to self if 3 espressos had this effect on me…never, and I mean never do speed.  Not that I would, just saying.

First there was the communist, this time the espresso junkie. What will it be next?

2 Strikes for this month…will my next date be a match?

Bachelor #2, stats, Insurance Agent, age 42 (Good age), Never been married (Nice), No kids Yet (Perfect)!!  We decided to meet up for brunch.  A nice little place in The Village.  Food was good, conversation Okay, no real sparks though. That might come, right? I mean, he didn’t disgust me. He wouldn’t have cracked any mirrors.

We finished brunch and he said he wanted to go shopping for clothes. Was it cool with me? “Sure” I said. Could be fun. Now, I’ve never known a guy who wanted to drag his date, (First Date at that) around clothes shopping, but remember, I am trying something new. I was just going to go with the flow, and anyway, I love shopping too, Remember Carrie plus Charlotte = Cece. I might even find something cool for myself right? Think again!!!

He wanted to go shopping, but he wanted to go shopping at stores like Goodwill, Salvation Army, etc. Now, I am not really a snob, well, maybe a little bit of a snob, but bargain basement second hand stores just don’t do it for me. A couture or vintage second hand store, I would have loved.  Now that would have been a totally different story. That would have been great.

We spent the next 3 hours going from one thrift store to the next thrift store to the next and on and on…where he tried on an so many t-shirts, short sleeve shirts, pants and even worn in or more so worn out sneakers. Yuck. Someone’s sweaty feet have lived in there man I thought. Really? I was itchy just thinking about it.

Was he trying to be a hipster? I can say honestly, I’m not into hipsters, I LIKE guys with clean hair, clean-shaven and clean clothes, etc.  If he was indeed trying to become a hipster, he really wasn’t doing a good job….to be a hipster you also need the attitude, which he didn’t have. He was actually a bit of noodle. Borrrrrring…. Thanks but no thanks.

Okay, so first 3 down. Hope to have better luck next month.  Follow me and see if I did.